I remember it like it was yesterday. I was bored and sitting at my dorm room desk on a Friday night. I had nothing to do. I had no dudes in rotation to take me out and I was just at a point where I was ready to find someone I can “kick it with”. So I logged into my Myspace account and the song “Promise” by Ciara was my theme song for my page. “I’m looking for somebody I can call boo...” Ciara was speaking my sentiments exactly.
I was looking for someone I can give my all to! I never would admit this ten years ago, but I pulled up my Myspace account and searched: “African American male, six feet plus, athletic built. Yes, I had a standard ok!! At the time, like most people that use MySpace: it was a network where you would find random friends, hookups and change your top 8 as much as you change your underwear. At the time, when I saw Ernest’s profile populate as the top pick in my “search”, I had no idea it would ten years later lead to marriage and a beautiful daughter!
After I sent that first initial Myspace request, Ernest slid in my DM. I wasn’t brave enough to send him a request AND slide in his DM. I am just glad he saw my intent and messaged me first. We talked for a few weeks until we decided to meet for a date!
We set the date at Dave & Busters near our college in Buffalo, New York.
The morning of our first date, I remember catching the bus to a local Dot’s where I picked out, what I thought would be the cutest outfit to impress him. I picked out a graphic tee with yellow print, tight jeans, and matching loud yellow plastic jewelry. I thought I was so cute!!
He picked me up from my dorm in his red Chevy Cavalier. I was impressed: “Ooh he has a nice car!” I thought. Because at the time, I did not have a car, so I needed a guy with stability and this was the closest thing to that!
We got to the Dave and Busters, sat down and ordered drinks and by drinks; I mean lemonade and Sprite because we both were not of age to drink legally. We talked and spent time getting to know each other. One hour turned to three and the next thing I know, our shyness wore off and we were on to competing on the games!
We had so much fun together and from that moment, I knew it felt right. I knew he could be the one. A week later, he asked me to be his girlfriend on 2/17/08 and the rest is history.
I would be lying if I said the past 10 years of our relationship was perfect. No relationship is. People may look at us and think #FamilyGoals- but our relationship took work, our marriage takes work! We began dating at 19 and 20, so we have definitely grew up A LOT. We are not the same kids we were ten years ago, and that is a great thing! I am so glad we were able to grow TOGETHER and continue to make our relationship and marriage strong.
I mentioned this in our 5 year marriage anniversary post: growing together and not apart is major in keeping your relationship alive! We have dated since we were teens, barely knowing ourselves completely, so it is natural that we will grow. But the fact that we grew together has helped us maintain our strong bond.
What also helped us is that from the beginning, we have been committed and invested in each other. So no matter if we fight, or argue we know that at the end of the day, we are not breaking up. Relationships that last, know that the relationship will have ups and downs, but it is riding out those down times that will make the relationship strong and get back on track.
I also believe that a strong trust in each other has helped our relationship tremendously. I completely trust my husband and I know he trusts me. Having trust in each other for the past 10 years has definitely helped because there is less stress or drama to worry about. I have no problem with him going out with his friends because I know for sure he will do the right thing, and vice versa.
I thank God for the amazing man I call my husband and best friend. It is only by faith and God that we have made it this far!! I am looking forward to another amazing ten PLUS years!!!
With Love, Passion & STYLE,